HeffBombs

Calling out the Right, Republicans and other jerks in politics

So long, Jerk!

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dobbsOh, what a sad, sad day for truth in journalism…

CNN’s best answer to the lie factory that is Fox News, their own latino-hating, St. Patrick’s Day-bashing lunatic talking head Lou Dobbs  announced his resignation from the network…towards a mysterious future…

Ahhh, Lou…you were such a tireless advocate for truth and justice, weren’t ya?

I look back with admiration to your dogged determination in exploring one of the most important questions of our age:  Was Obama REALLY born in the United States?  “There are real questions that need to be answered here,” you said.  SO TRUE!  Like, for example, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LOU? Apparently, your misdirected viewers just wouldn’t join you for that ride…  And then your boss told you to just shut up about it.

But what about your patriotic battles against the Mexicans?  Truly, you were a hero Lou.  Such timeless misstatements of fact to prove your point that we are doomed, DOOMED because THE MEXICANS ARE COMING!  Lets see:

  • One-third of the U.S. prison population is estimated to be illegal aliens.  (close, its about 6%)
  • Illegal aliens are to blame for the sudden spike in leprosy in the U.S. – 7,000 cases in a 3-year period! (except…sigh…there have been only 7,000 cases of leprosy in the last 30 years…whatever, right?  “You say tomato, I say…”)

At least you occasionally lent your voice to protect us all against the biggest threat our nation has ever faced:  SOCIALISMACORN!  DEAR GOD!

Oh sweet mercy, where will we turn now for our lies, bigotry and crotchety-old-dude paranoia?

So long, jerk.

 

(See Talking Points Memo’s priceless Lou Dobbs Retrospective)

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Written by D. Heffernan

November 15, 2009 at 6:51 pm

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