HeffBombs

Calling out the Right, Republicans and other jerks in politics

Republican Plays of the Week

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Republicans are an entertaining bunch, eminently infuriating in their ability to win despite the inferior argument, but amusing nonetheless.  So, lets take a break from watching those poll numbers that seem to increasingly favor the coming of the apocalypse, and look at the lighter side of our republican “friends”:

  • TRAINWRECK – Wow…just, wow…Jan Brewer, renowned liar and Incumbent AZ Governor (r), really, REALLY, struggled during her prepared remarks at the opening of a recent debate.  (NO REALLY, YOU HAVE TO SEE).  Questioned about her preposterous claim that law enforcement is finding headless bodies in the Arizona desert (made headless, of course, by ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS…OH YES), the brilliant and savvy Brewer refused to answer reporter questions on this quite alarming news…only to come out the next day to recant:   beheadings:  “That was an error, if I said that, I misspoke.”  Ahhh, yes…the classic political understatement…  Hey, remember when I said that I was sick this weekend?  Well, I misspoke.  I meant to say that I wasn’t sick at all.  Oops.
  • Best Loaded Question – Chris Wallace, Fox News, in his fair and balanced analysis of Obama’s speech on the end of combat operations in Iraq “is it unfair to say that this is a president whose heart doesn’t seem to be into winning the war on terror, no matter what it costs?”  Is it unfair to say that Fox News is not really “news” at all, but merely a 24-hour a day right wing lie factory with the only goal being a permanent republican majority in America?
  • Dumb-it-Down – Dana Perino, former Bush Press Secretary turned (what do you know?) Fox News Commentator, provider of such thoughtful insights as Obama masterminding the oil rig explosion in the Gulf of Mexico, recently posited the following thoughtful analysis: “The coverage of the growing disconnect between President Obama and America reminds me of some of my single friends lamenting the distance they feel with their boyfriends.”  On the next edition of “I don’t know what I’m talking about”, watch Dana compare the Mideast Peace Process to that one time her friend was making out with that one guy, but his friend thought that she told him that–.
  • Unhealthy people are degenerates – Tim Pawlenty, Governor of Minnesota, on the sinister evils of federal financial assistance for health care costs — “Federal government’s acting increasingly like a financial drug dealer, handing out tastes or free samples, trying to get people addicted, further addicted. And we’ve just had it and we’re not taking the bait anymore. We’re not taking the free samples anymore.”  Better to just let the chronically ill and grievously wounded suffer…they would want it that way.
  • God is a very rich manJoe Miller, yet another radical right wing tea partier that could take Alaska’s open senate seat, in a recent campaign mailer:  “So far the Lord has always provided the money in this grass roots campaign, and this time God is going to use you to provide!” And now, on to K Street, where the REAL money is!  God’s pockets only run so deep…
  • The less fortunate get all the breaks: Sharon Angle, tea party nut-job Nevada Senate hopeul, claims extending unemployment benefits “really doesn’t benefit anyone“…except, she failed to note, for the unemployed…
  • Bad Idea Jeans: Newt Gingrich, family values poster boy, ceaselessly stirring up the “Ground Zero Mosque” (neither at Ground Zero nor a mosque) controversy, burped up the following brilliant plan for moving on:  “I think the Congress has the ability to declare the area a national battlefield memorial because I think we should think of the World Trade Center as a battlefield site; this is a war.”  Because the only things that belong on revered battlefield sites are strip clubs and burger kings.

Ha!

And now…back to more serious stuff


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Written by D. Heffernan

September 8, 2010 at 3:59 pm

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