HeffBombs

Calling out the Right, Republicans and other jerks in politics

Archive for the ‘Republican Hypocrisy’ Category

“I Misspoke”: The End of Lying

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Did you know that you never have to admit responsibility for any action if you are a public figure?  Go ahead and lie through your teeth.  Feel free to ridicule and mock minorities.  Give whatever boneheaded response to questions comes to mind if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You can EASILY get out of it later.  No harm, no foul.  You “misspoke” is all…happens to everyone.

“To misspeak is human”?  I’m old enough to remember the infamous “I can’t recall” repetition orgy from politicians and officials testifying to Congress during the Iran-Contra Scandal (yikes…kind of dates me).  The new ad nauseam refrain seems to be “I misspoke”.  It’s a way of weaseling out of virtually any uncomfortable situation that showcases one or more of a) your complete and embarrassing lack of knowledge about a particular subject that you should know about, b) your knack for lying through your teeth, or c) your general insensitivity/bigotry/astounding jerkitude.  It isn’t that you’re “sorry”, it’s not that you “didn’t know,” and clearly not that you were “actually saying something you believe in your heart to be true.”  No…you merely “misspoke.”

Here’s some recent classics:

  • Congressman Paul Ryan (r-WI) apologizedmisspoke” when he said military generals were lying to Congress (quite a charge, eh?) in claiming support for a reduced defense budget.  Clearly, by saying they WERE NOT being truthful, he meant to say they WERE being truthful, but that he didn’t agree with them…I guess.  Oops.
  • Human Etch-a-Sketch  republican presidential contender Mitt Romney “misspoke” when he said, while discussing his economic policy, “I’m not concerned about the very poor.”  (Because THAT would be wrong.)  What he meant to say, of course, was “Let them eat cake.”
  • Brian Kilmeade (general idiot – Fox and Friends) apologizedmisspoke” when he infamously said on his show “Not all Muslims are terrorists.  But all terrorists are Muslims.”  He meant to say, “I’m a bigoted idiot with no concept of the reality of modern terrorism.”
  • Lest you think HeffBombs has some kind of liberal bias (THE HORROR!), former Democratic senatorial candidate for Vermont Richard Blumenthal liedmisspoke” when he (repeatedly) claimed to have served in various war zones in Vietnam during the war.  He, in fact, served on an island off the coast of South Carolina.  Oops.  Whatever, a simple mistake…made several times…in front of large crowds…
  • Another bad case of the opposites:  former pizza baron/GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain (wow…seriously?) apparently misspoke when he suggested he would be willing to negotiate with Al Qaeda on certain matters.  Of course, everyone knows that negotiation is bad and never accomplishes anything under any circumstances.  Clearly he meant to say “Terrorists Bad, Pizza Good!!”
  • Not exactly misspeaking per se, but an absolute gem nonetheless…Jon Kyl (r-AZ) gave a rousing speech on the Senate Floor during the debt-ceiling crisis in which he said “If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”  Ooooh, not quite.  Its three percent.  But no problem, just a classic case of misspeaking, right? Clarifying the remarks further, his office reported “His remark wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.”

I guess they were all “just saying…”

Written by D. Heffernan

April 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Idaho: GOP Playground

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While hiking in the foothills near Walnut Creek over the weekend, I passed a number of painfully gigantic mega-mansions with sweeping views of the Bay Area, and thought “Those poor people.  What they need is a tax break.”

Later, as I watched a man in aviator sunglasses idling his Ferrari (for 20 minutes) outside a sandwich shop while waiting for his wife, I wondered: “Why is that man’s tax burden so high?”

And when I hear a teacher complain about having to bring her own paper to school, and the mice that infest the offices, I think to myself “Why are we taxing the rich so much?”

Thankfully, the Idaho legislature agrees with me. 

Read on…

Written by D. Heffernan

March 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm

GOP: Government Spending Creates Jobs!!

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Was that a pig flying overhead?

Did you hear the news?  In an abrupt about-face, republicans confess that Government Spending does, in fact, create jobs!  Wow, after all that back-and-forth, right?  After all that tooth-and-nail, no compromise, tax cuts are the only route to job growth BS.  Now we can finally get some things passed!

Oh right.

So, it turns out only government spending on defense is included in this epiphany.  Any other government spending – unemployment benefits, job training programs, education – does absolutely nothing to create jobs.

Why the sudden interest?  Have you heard of the Debt-reduction Super-Committee?  Its a bipartisan group of congressmen (and women) tasked with reducing government borrowing by $1.5 trillion or more over the next ten years.  If agreement isn’t reached by the November 23rd deadline, across-the-board cuts of $1.2 trillion will automatically trigger, with the lion’s share taken out of defense and medicare.  Democrats on the committee have offered a combination of (about 2/3) spending cuts and (about 1/3) revenue increases, far to the right of other bipartisan plans.  Republicans have offered a combination of spending cuts and…that’s it100% spending cuts…just not to defense.  Because THAT leads to job loss.

Ahhhh…hypocrisy.

It reminds me of the republican screaming about Obama’s stimulus package: how it will ruin the country, how it was nothing but a failure in the end, and, according to former GOP Presidential front-runner Rick Perry, didn’t create one job.  Never mind that the stimulus actually did create lots and lots of jobs:  somewhere between 1 million and 2.9 million as of last June, according to the non-partisan (unless you’re a republican) Congressional Budget Office.  Its true, these numbers are disappointing when compared with Obama’s rosy, pre-Stimulus predictions, and they are certainly not enough to right the economy, with the unemployment rate still hanging tough at 9.0%.   Maybe it wasn’t big enough.

Oh, right…the hypocrisy.  Well, after vilifying it and the President, then voting against it, these same republican congressmen were secretly reveling in its benefits, begging Obama to divert Stimulus funds to their districts, and shooting photo ops of stimulus-funded projects in their home states…

Well, at least we can finally agree on something.  Cutting government spending will lead to job loss.

Now, any bright ideas for increasing revenues?

Written by D. Heffernan

November 7, 2011 at 2:20 am

The Gloves Come Off…FINALLY!

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Could it be?

Is the long, dark cave-athon to the republican party over?

Its been tough, lo these last few years.  Universal Health Care?  No dice.  Tax cuts for the wealthy?  Maintained.  Stronger clean air standards?  On hold.  Debt ceiling crisis solution? 100% spending cuts.  Address to joint session of congress?  Rescheduled.

Yes, pretty painful to watch.  Compromise is great when the other side is willing to meet you halfway, but not when it means “we get everything WE want, and you get nothing.”  Where’s the 2008 Obama?  Where’s the backbone?  How about some Democratic ideals winning the day every now and then?  What, on earth, is your strategy, Mr. President?

Here it is:  math.

Warren Buffett (why aren’t more rich people like this?) once complained that his secretary paid a higher tax rate than he does.  (Buffett, whose net worth in 2007 was approximately $52 billion, paid just 17% on earnings of $46 million in 2006, his $60,000/year secretary?  30%.)  He called out his fellow richies at a recent fundraiser for Hilary Clinton:  “If you’re in the luckiest 1 per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent.”  Wow…just imagine the 3rd wealthiest person in the world saying that to a room full of rich donors.

Obama has (FINALLY) seized the moment.  “Either we ask the wealthiest Americans to pay their fair share in taxes, or we’re going to have to ask seniors to pay more for Medicare,” Obama said on Monday. “We can’t afford to do both.”

Wow…

In addition to inisting…err, again…that the Bush-era tax cuts for upper-income earners be allowed to expire, he has proposed the “Buffett Rule“:  a minimum tax rate for millionaires and billionaires.  This “controversial” idea that the wealthy should pay at least the same tax rate as lower income earners isn’t going to fix everything, but  makes a powerful statement on priorities.

As expected, the republicans respond with cries of “Class Warfare” to any suggestion that the wealthy pay a little bit more of their fair share to help our country pay for what it needs.  They fail to see the irony that by creating a system that favors the welfare of the rich and large corporations at the expense of social safety nets (which they call “living within our means”), they are merely…well, there’s no point using logic here, right?  Elizabeth Warren, Democratic candidate for Senator in Massachusetts recently said “There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own“.  Its time to give back.

Anyways, its exciting stuff…or it could be.   The public is on the President’s side: more than 2/3 of the country, including a majority of republicans (believe it), favor increasing taxes on incomes greater than $250,000.   If you throw in eliminating subsidies and tax breaks for oil companies (some of which goes straight to Exxon Mobil, the MOST PROFITABLE COMPANY IN THE WORLD), and closing the loophole allowing hedge fund managers to claim their income as capital gains (this would raise $4 billion a year…from just 25 people), pretty soon, you’re talking real money.

Stand strong, Mr. President.

Written by D. Heffernan

September 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Republican Governors at play

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Its deadlock in DC.  Republicans refuse to consider any legislation that will help the American economy, and hold the debt ceiling hostage to massive budget cuts with zero revenue increases.  Democrats and the President continue to “compromise” by moving farther and farther to the right…from a strong center-right starting point.  Across the country, however, republicans are hard at work making the United States a less and less desirable place to live…but a great place to run a corporation:

  • Keeping our drinking establishments safe:  What we really need to get America back on track is a way of life that more closely resembles the HBO series “Deadwood”.  Ohio Governor signs bill allowing guns in bars.  Firearms and alcohol…is there a better mix?
  • Our way or the highway (gets closed, due to lack of funds):  Much like their brethren in Washington, republicans in Minnesota have taken the emminently reasonable stance that negotiating with Democrats on filling a budget shortfall means republicans get everything they want:  100% budget cuts, zero new revenues.  Because, if you’re starving, rather than attempt to acquire food, you should just try to lose weight, right?  Anyhow, the government of Minnesota has now shutdown – all parks closed, no more “non-essential” government services (you know, like community services for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence), and more than 20,000 layoffs (good for the economy!)…  Just imagine the fun with a Federal shutdown! Can’t wait?  Yeah, me too.
  • Kansas – a great place to be a woman:  Republicans have long been defenders of the rule of law, except for those they don’t agree with…like Roe v. Wade.  Newly elected Kansas governor Sam Brownback has been busy denying the legitimacy of the Supreme Court by shutting down clinics that provide abortions all over the state.  By enacting a new law giving clinics 7 days to comply with amazingly strict new regulations, Kansas is now down to a single clinic…yes, 1 clinic, 1.5 million women…seems fair, right?
  • Gas Yes, Brains No!:  Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett and his legislative minions passed a draconian budget slashing $280 million from Medicaid benefits (which translates to $425 million with federal matching), and a staggering $863 million from higher education.  Once again, zero new revenues, solving budget shortfalls by going after the poor, the sick…and the smart (on the upside, more future republican voters!).  Did you know that Pennsylvania is the only state NOT to tax companies that drill for natural gas?  Did you know that Tom Corbett’s campaign received $450,000 from Chesapeake Energy in 2004?  Yeah….

Ugh.

And yet, sometimes there is that oh-so-rare, refreshingly-sweet, taste of victory, something that makes the very souls of coal-blooded, self-righteous republican recoil and wither…New York just made same sex marriage legal.  Maybe, just maybe, we’ll actually witness here a shift in a seemingly unmoveable world view amongst the increasingly-elusive rational republican…just ask David Frum (former George W. Bush speechwriter), who penned the amazingly humble “I was wrong about same-sex marriage“…see kids, miracles DO happen.

Now we just need some more.

Written by D. Heffernan

July 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Republicans continue to kill the team

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Life sometimes gets in the way of the serious political blogging one would like to do in one’s spare time.  Nonetheless, even a cursory breeze through the headlines reveals a litany of republican “whatthef*ckery”.  I’m continually amazed that this group of loons and jackals somehow, time and time again, convince Americans to vote against their own self-interest and catapult them into positions of power, where they are free to do their best to destroy the lives of their constituents, and of this great country at large.

Where to even begin?  When every day brings fresh incredulity, another round of “are you frickn kidding me?”, the seventh exasperated head shaking of the morning?  Here’s some good ones:

  • In a time of budget-cutting on the backs of the poor and disadvantaged and government spending as THE root of all that is wrong with America (finally, we know!), some thoughtful congressmen and our president pointed out that the government could save about $4 billion a year by eliminating some annual subsidies to oil companies (a rather small proportion of TOTAL subsidies to oil companies, which may be closer to $35 billion), including ExxonMobil, THE MOST PROFITABLE CORPORATION IN THE WORLD.  (want to get really angry?  Next time you buy a stamp at the post office, just think…thats more than Exxon Mobil paid in taxes in 2009.)  Senate republicans, who once claimed they would have to invoke the “nuclear option” in response to Democratic filibustering of ultra-conservative judicial nominations of George W’s (“why, oh why can’t we just have a straight up-or-down vote, like our forefathers intended”), filibustered a bill to repeal oil subsidies, because who, oh who, will think of the oil companies?!?!?.   Republicans, now apparently lovers of government spending, and handouts to those who don’t need them.
  • Freshman Senator (and “OHMYGOD, THIS GUY GOT ELECTED?” showcase) Rand Paul (r-KY), never a fan of civil rights, now thinks the Bill of Rights could use a little dicing up as well (why stop with just one of our country’s founding documents, right?).  Free Speech?  Peaceful assembly?  That’s commie talk!  While Paul is no supporter of racial profiling (for shame, what kind of monster do you take him for?), he does feel that the Bill of Rights should be torn to shreds:  “if someone is attending speeches from someone who is promoting the violent overthrow of our government, that’s really an offense that we should be going after — they should be deported or put in prison.”  How about attending a rally of former Nevada republican senatorial nominee Sharon (“Second Amendment Remedies“) Angle?  Or listening to a radio interview by potential republican nutjob presidential contender Michelle (“I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous“) Bachmann?  What if the entire prison population was comprised of members of Senator Paul’s very own Tea Party?
  • On the lighter side, here’s the republican quote of the week:  Newt Gingrich, on Democrats’ use of direct, fully-in-context quotes from a recent Meet the Press interview “Any ad that quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood.”  ………..  Yes, recently announced (finally, right?) presidential candidate Newt Gingrich was busy issuing his “heartfelt apology” (it was the liberal media’s fault, don’t you know?) to the GOP, following a very public flogging over daring to take a moderate position on the viability of Paul Ryan’s proposal to gut medicare.  He has since retracted his words with the usual misspokes and entrapment and misleading questions, blah, blah, blah.  By the way, John Lithgow does an excellent Newt Gingrich.

More to come?  With the presidential campaign season just a few months away, my guess is…probably.

Written by D. Heffernan

June 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

BOMBSHELL: Obama IS an American Citizen

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If you’re like me, you’ve spent the last 4 years in an absolute panic of doubt and suspicion, wondering, as I have:  Who the hell are the Kardashians?  Was Barack Obama REALLY born in the United States?

Because if he wasn’t (and he probably wasn’t, especially now that Donald Trump has been talking about it on the the TV), then he MUST be a Kenyan Muslim socialist, intent on imposing sharia law on the United States and rounding up all the republicans in internment camps.

Of course, he released his “short form” birth certificate back in 2009, but who believed that?  How could we possibly take him both at his word, and with definitive proof?  Come on, give us something here.  I mean, hell, even I have a fake short form certificate.   What?  You say you didn’t know my name was Max Burly, born February 30th, 1867 (oops, heh heh, that must be the hospital’s typo)?

And now this:  the White House finally released Obama’s clearly photo-shopped (thank you FOX BUSINESS NEWS!), long-form birth certificate.  Nice try, Obama…if that is your real name!

Deeply respected attorney Orly Taitz, Esq., quickly exposed it for the mockery it makes of us all, shrewdly pointing out that, in a real birth certificate, the father’s race would have read “Negro”, not “African”, because that’s how folks talked back then.  Go Orly!  That is SO true!  What does he think we are, stewpid?

Look, its not like we’ve got anything against Obama.  I mean, we ask this of all the Presidents.  Remember George W. Bush’s “Certificate-Gate”?  Bill Clinton’s famous “I am NOT a Berliner” speech?  Reagan’s heartwarming televised reunion with his Pakistani parents (OMG…awkward!!!)?  And no way were we letting that Panamanian John McCain into the White House, are you with me fellas?

No, just like all the other times, this is just an honest attempt at getting at the truth.  So lets not let this die, people.  Until Obama builds a time machine and takes me back to the exact moment of his birth, color this writer skeptical.  Of course, then I would need to review an extended series of photos over the course of his lifetime, taken at least once a month…because it could have been any old baby, right?

Hey, did you hear that Obama could be the Anti-Christ?

Just let him prove he isn’t…

Written by D. Heffernan

May 3, 2011 at 4:57 am