HeffBombs

Calling out the Right, Republicans and other jerks in politics

Archive for the ‘Right Wing News’ Category

“I Misspoke”: The End of Lying

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Did you know that you never have to admit responsibility for any action if you are a public figure?  Go ahead and lie through your teeth.  Feel free to ridicule and mock minorities.  Give whatever boneheaded response to questions comes to mind if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You can EASILY get out of it later.  No harm, no foul.  You “misspoke” is all…happens to everyone.

“To misspeak is human”?  I’m old enough to remember the infamous “I can’t recall” repetition orgy from politicians and officials testifying to Congress during the Iran-Contra Scandal (yikes…kind of dates me).  The new ad nauseam refrain seems to be “I misspoke”.  It’s a way of weaseling out of virtually any uncomfortable situation that showcases one or more of a) your complete and embarrassing lack of knowledge about a particular subject that you should know about, b) your knack for lying through your teeth, or c) your general insensitivity/bigotry/astounding jerkitude.  It isn’t that you’re “sorry”, it’s not that you “didn’t know,” and clearly not that you were “actually saying something you believe in your heart to be true.”  No…you merely “misspoke.”

Here’s some recent classics:

  • Congressman Paul Ryan (r-WI) apologizedmisspoke” when he said military generals were lying to Congress (quite a charge, eh?) in claiming support for a reduced defense budget.  Clearly, by saying they WERE NOT being truthful, he meant to say they WERE being truthful, but that he didn’t agree with them…I guess.  Oops.
  • Human Etch-a-Sketch  republican presidential contender Mitt Romney “misspoke” when he said, while discussing his economic policy, “I’m not concerned about the very poor.”  (Because THAT would be wrong.)  What he meant to say, of course, was “Let them eat cake.”
  • Brian Kilmeade (general idiot – Fox and Friends) apologizedmisspoke” when he infamously said on his show “Not all Muslims are terrorists.  But all terrorists are Muslims.”  He meant to say, “I’m a bigoted idiot with no concept of the reality of modern terrorism.”
  • Lest you think HeffBombs has some kind of liberal bias (THE HORROR!), former Democratic senatorial candidate for Vermont Richard Blumenthal liedmisspoke” when he (repeatedly) claimed to have served in various war zones in Vietnam during the war.  He, in fact, served on an island off the coast of South Carolina.  Oops.  Whatever, a simple mistake…made several times…in front of large crowds…
  • Another bad case of the opposites:  former pizza baron/GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain (wow…seriously?) apparently misspoke when he suggested he would be willing to negotiate with Al Qaeda on certain matters.  Of course, everyone knows that negotiation is bad and never accomplishes anything under any circumstances.  Clearly he meant to say “Terrorists Bad, Pizza Good!!”
  • Not exactly misspeaking per se, but an absolute gem nonetheless…Jon Kyl (r-AZ) gave a rousing speech on the Senate Floor during the debt-ceiling crisis in which he said “If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”  Ooooh, not quite.  Its three percent.  But no problem, just a classic case of misspeaking, right? Clarifying the remarks further, his office reported “His remark wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.”

I guess they were all “just saying…”

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Written by D. Heffernan

April 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Karl Rove all about the irony

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Turd-blossom…

Thats not my nickname for Karl Rove (it would have been much, much harsher), that was bestowed by former President George Bush.

We didn’t really expect this guy would disappear, did we?  I mean we hoped — desperately, foolishly hoped — but Fox News gobbled him up within weeks of that last sweet day of Bush’s failed presidency.

Fox “News” – halfway house for former criminals, like everyone’s favorite watergate mastermind G. Gordon Liddy, and Iran-Contra scandal star Oliver North.

So, this is the kind of gem, while “discussing” the U.S. response to Israel’s recent settlement-building announcement, that we can expect from Mr. Rove in 2010:

“…they [the Obama administration] let a cowboy president try to act in an extra-constitutional way to violate a fundamental principle in the Constitution, all without having done their homework in advance.”

…hear that?  That was the sound of your jaw dropping to the floor…

Yes, Barack Obama, the cowboy president.  Not Bush.

Oh, Barack Obama, always violating that pesky constitution.  Not Bush.  Certainly, not Bush. DEFINITELY, not Bush.  Need some more examples?

Oh, Barack Obama…why, WHY didn’t you do your homework in advance?  You know, like Bush did before we invaded Iraq.  Oh, you say he missed a few things, did he?

Jackass.

I have to believe that Rove knows exactly what he’s saying, that he smugly revels in the absurdity, the irony, the outright deceptions…that he explicitly relies on the collective short term memory of Americans in general, on the unbelievable gullibility of Fox “News” viewers, on truckloads of red meat rhetoric for the republican base to give life to his monumental lies, in an effort to recreate history, spread the fear and the hate…and return another dumb, war-mongering, born-again republican to the White House.

Written by D. Heffernan

March 17, 2010 at 3:00 am

So long, Jerk!

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dobbsOh, what a sad, sad day for truth in journalism…

CNN’s best answer to the lie factory that is Fox News, their own latino-hating, St. Patrick’s Day-bashing lunatic talking head Lou Dobbs  announced his resignation from the network…towards a mysterious future…

Ahhh, Lou…you were such a tireless advocate for truth and justice, weren’t ya?

I look back with admiration to your dogged determination in exploring one of the most important questions of our age:  Was Obama REALLY born in the United States?  “There are real questions that need to be answered here,” you said.  SO TRUE!  Like, for example, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LOU? Apparently, your misdirected viewers just wouldn’t join you for that ride…  And then your boss told you to just shut up about it.

But what about your patriotic battles against the Mexicans?  Truly, you were a hero Lou.  Such timeless misstatements of fact to prove your point that we are doomed, DOOMED because THE MEXICANS ARE COMING!  Lets see:

  • One-third of the U.S. prison population is estimated to be illegal aliens.  (close, its about 6%)
  • Illegal aliens are to blame for the sudden spike in leprosy in the U.S. – 7,000 cases in a 3-year period! (except…sigh…there have been only 7,000 cases of leprosy in the last 30 years…whatever, right?  “You say tomato, I say…”)

At least you occasionally lent your voice to protect us all against the biggest threat our nation has ever faced:  SOCIALISMACORN!  DEAR GOD!

Oh sweet mercy, where will we turn now for our lies, bigotry and crotchety-old-dude paranoia?

So long, jerk.

 

(See Talking Points Memo’s priceless Lou Dobbs Retrospective)

Written by D. Heffernan

November 15, 2009 at 6:51 pm