HeffBombs

Calling out the Right, Republicans and other jerks in politics

Posts Tagged ‘Fox News

“I Misspoke”: The End of Lying

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Did you know that you never have to admit responsibility for any action if you are a public figure?  Go ahead and lie through your teeth.  Feel free to ridicule and mock minorities.  Give whatever boneheaded response to questions comes to mind if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You can EASILY get out of it later.  No harm, no foul.  You “misspoke” is all…happens to everyone.

“To misspeak is human”?  I’m old enough to remember the infamous “I can’t recall” repetition orgy from politicians and officials testifying to Congress during the Iran-Contra Scandal (yikes…kind of dates me).  The new ad nauseam refrain seems to be “I misspoke”.  It’s a way of weaseling out of virtually any uncomfortable situation that showcases one or more of a) your complete and embarrassing lack of knowledge about a particular subject that you should know about, b) your knack for lying through your teeth, or c) your general insensitivity/bigotry/astounding jerkitude.  It isn’t that you’re “sorry”, it’s not that you “didn’t know,” and clearly not that you were “actually saying something you believe in your heart to be true.”  No…you merely “misspoke.”

Here’s some recent classics:

  • Congressman Paul Ryan (r-WI) apologizedmisspoke” when he said military generals were lying to Congress (quite a charge, eh?) in claiming support for a reduced defense budget.  Clearly, by saying they WERE NOT being truthful, he meant to say they WERE being truthful, but that he didn’t agree with them…I guess.  Oops.
  • Human Etch-a-Sketch  republican presidential contender Mitt Romney “misspoke” when he said, while discussing his economic policy, “I’m not concerned about the very poor.”  (Because THAT would be wrong.)  What he meant to say, of course, was “Let them eat cake.”
  • Brian Kilmeade (general idiot – Fox and Friends) apologizedmisspoke” when he infamously said on his show “Not all Muslims are terrorists.  But all terrorists are Muslims.”  He meant to say, “I’m a bigoted idiot with no concept of the reality of modern terrorism.”
  • Lest you think HeffBombs has some kind of liberal bias (THE HORROR!), former Democratic senatorial candidate for Vermont Richard Blumenthal liedmisspoke” when he (repeatedly) claimed to have served in various war zones in Vietnam during the war.  He, in fact, served on an island off the coast of South Carolina.  Oops.  Whatever, a simple mistake…made several times…in front of large crowds…
  • Another bad case of the opposites:  former pizza baron/GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain (wow…seriously?) apparently misspoke when he suggested he would be willing to negotiate with Al Qaeda on certain matters.  Of course, everyone knows that negotiation is bad and never accomplishes anything under any circumstances.  Clearly he meant to say “Terrorists Bad, Pizza Good!!”
  • Not exactly misspeaking per se, but an absolute gem nonetheless…Jon Kyl (r-AZ) gave a rousing speech on the Senate Floor during the debt-ceiling crisis in which he said “If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”  Ooooh, not quite.  Its three percent.  But no problem, just a classic case of misspeaking, right? Clarifying the remarks further, his office reported “His remark wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.”

I guess they were all “just saying…”

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Written by D. Heffernan

April 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Republican Plays of the Week

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Republicans are an entertaining bunch, eminently infuriating in their ability to win despite the inferior argument, but amusing nonetheless.  So, lets take a break from watching those poll numbers that seem to increasingly favor the coming of the apocalypse, and look at the lighter side of our republican “friends”:

  • TRAINWRECK – Wow…just, wow…Jan Brewer, renowned liar and Incumbent AZ Governor (r), really, REALLY, struggled during her prepared remarks at the opening of a recent debate.  (NO REALLY, YOU HAVE TO SEE).  Questioned about her preposterous claim that law enforcement is finding headless bodies in the Arizona desert (made headless, of course, by ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS…OH YES), the brilliant and savvy Brewer refused to answer reporter questions on this quite alarming news…only to come out the next day to recant:   beheadings:  “That was an error, if I said that, I misspoke.”  Ahhh, yes…the classic political understatement…  Hey, remember when I said that I was sick this weekend?  Well, I misspoke.  I meant to say that I wasn’t sick at all.  Oops.
  • Best Loaded Question – Chris Wallace, Fox News, in his fair and balanced analysis of Obama’s speech on the end of combat operations in Iraq “is it unfair to say that this is a president whose heart doesn’t seem to be into winning the war on terror, no matter what it costs?”  Is it unfair to say that Fox News is not really “news” at all, but merely a 24-hour a day right wing lie factory with the only goal being a permanent republican majority in America?
  • Dumb-it-Down – Dana Perino, former Bush Press Secretary turned (what do you know?) Fox News Commentator, provider of such thoughtful insights as Obama masterminding the oil rig explosion in the Gulf of Mexico, recently posited the following thoughtful analysis: “The coverage of the growing disconnect between President Obama and America reminds me of some of my single friends lamenting the distance they feel with their boyfriends.”  On the next edition of “I don’t know what I’m talking about”, watch Dana compare the Mideast Peace Process to that one time her friend was making out with that one guy, but his friend thought that she told him that–.
  • Unhealthy people are degenerates – Tim Pawlenty, Governor of Minnesota, on the sinister evils of federal financial assistance for health care costs — “Federal government’s acting increasingly like a financial drug dealer, handing out tastes or free samples, trying to get people addicted, further addicted. And we’ve just had it and we’re not taking the bait anymore. We’re not taking the free samples anymore.”  Better to just let the chronically ill and grievously wounded suffer…they would want it that way.
  • God is a very rich manJoe Miller, yet another radical right wing tea partier that could take Alaska’s open senate seat, in a recent campaign mailer:  “So far the Lord has always provided the money in this grass roots campaign, and this time God is going to use you to provide!” And now, on to K Street, where the REAL money is!  God’s pockets only run so deep…
  • The less fortunate get all the breaks: Sharon Angle, tea party nut-job Nevada Senate hopeul, claims extending unemployment benefits “really doesn’t benefit anyone“…except, she failed to note, for the unemployed…
  • Bad Idea Jeans: Newt Gingrich, family values poster boy, ceaselessly stirring up the “Ground Zero Mosque” (neither at Ground Zero nor a mosque) controversy, burped up the following brilliant plan for moving on:  “I think the Congress has the ability to declare the area a national battlefield memorial because I think we should think of the World Trade Center as a battlefield site; this is a war.”  Because the only things that belong on revered battlefield sites are strip clubs and burger kings.

Ha!

And now…back to more serious stuff


Written by D. Heffernan

September 8, 2010 at 3:59 pm

So long, Jerk!

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dobbsOh, what a sad, sad day for truth in journalism…

CNN’s best answer to the lie factory that is Fox News, their own latino-hating, St. Patrick’s Day-bashing lunatic talking head Lou Dobbs  announced his resignation from the network…towards a mysterious future…

Ahhh, Lou…you were such a tireless advocate for truth and justice, weren’t ya?

I look back with admiration to your dogged determination in exploring one of the most important questions of our age:  Was Obama REALLY born in the United States?  “There are real questions that need to be answered here,” you said.  SO TRUE!  Like, for example, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, LOU? Apparently, your misdirected viewers just wouldn’t join you for that ride…  And then your boss told you to just shut up about it.

But what about your patriotic battles against the Mexicans?  Truly, you were a hero Lou.  Such timeless misstatements of fact to prove your point that we are doomed, DOOMED because THE MEXICANS ARE COMING!  Lets see:

  • One-third of the U.S. prison population is estimated to be illegal aliens.  (close, its about 6%)
  • Illegal aliens are to blame for the sudden spike in leprosy in the U.S. – 7,000 cases in a 3-year period! (except…sigh…there have been only 7,000 cases of leprosy in the last 30 years…whatever, right?  “You say tomato, I say…”)

At least you occasionally lent your voice to protect us all against the biggest threat our nation has ever faced:  SOCIALISMACORN!  DEAR GOD!

Oh sweet mercy, where will we turn now for our lies, bigotry and crotchety-old-dude paranoia?

So long, jerk.

 

(See Talking Points Memo’s priceless Lou Dobbs Retrospective)

Written by D. Heffernan

November 15, 2009 at 6:51 pm