“I Misspoke”: The End of Lying

Did you know that you never have to admit responsibility for any action if you are a public figure?  Go ahead and lie through your teeth.  Feel free to ridicule and mock minorities.  Give whatever boneheaded response to questions comes to mind if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You can EASILY get out of it later.  No harm, no foul.  You “misspoke” is all…happens to everyone.

“To misspeak is human”?  I’m old enough to remember the infamous “I can’t recall” repetition orgy from politicians and officials testifying to Congress during the Iran-Contra Scandal (yikes…kind of dates me).  The new ad nauseam refrain seems to be “I misspoke”.  It’s a way of weaseling out of virtually any uncomfortable situation that showcases one or more of a) your complete and embarrassing lack of knowledge about a particular subject that you should know about, b) your knack for lying through your teeth, or c) your general insensitivity/bigotry/astounding jerkitude.  It isn’t that you’re “sorry”, it’s not that you “didn’t know,” and clearly not that you were “actually saying something you believe in your heart to be true.”  No…you merely “misspoke.”

Here’s some recent classics:

• Congressman Paul Ryan (r-WI) apologized “misspoke” when he said military generals were lying to Congress (quite a charge, eh?) in claiming support for a reduced defense budget.  Clearly, by saying they WERE NOT being truthful, he meant to say they WERE being truthful, but that he didn’t agree with them…I guess.  Oops.
• Human Etch-a-Sketch  republican presidential contender Mitt Romney “misspoke” when he said, while discussing his economic policy, “I’m not concerned about the very poor.”  (Because THAT would be wrong.)  What he meant to say, of course, was “Let them eat cake.”
• Brian Kilmeade (general idiot – Fox and Friends) apologized “misspoke” when he infamously said on his show “Not all Muslims are terrorists.  But all terrorists are Muslims.”  He meant to say, “I’m a bigoted idiot with no concept of the reality of modern terrorism.”
• Lest you think HeffBombs has some kind of liberal bias (THE HORROR!), former Democratic senatorial candidate for Vermont Richard Blumenthal lied “misspoke” when he (repeatedly) claimed to have served in various war zones in Vietnam during the war.  He, in fact, served on an island off the coast of South Carolina.  Oops.  Whatever, a simple mistake…made several times…in front of large crowds…
• Another bad case of the opposites:  former pizza baron/GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain (wow…seriously?) apparently misspoke when he suggested he would be willing to negotiate with Al Qaeda on certain matters.  Of course, everyone knows that negotiation is bad and never accomplishes anything under any circumstances.  Clearly he meant to say “Terrorists Bad, Pizza Good!!”
• Not exactly misspeaking per se, but an absolute gem nonetheless…Jon Kyl (r-AZ) gave a rousing speech on the Senate Floor during the debt-ceiling crisis in which he said “If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”  Ooooh, not quite.  Its three percent.  But no problem, just a classic case of misspeaking, right? Clarifying the remarks further, his office reported “His remark wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.”

I guess they were all “just saying…”