The Big Day

Yikes.

I want to be optimistic.  So, rather than spend time speculating on the horrors of a republicorp-controlled House of Representatives, I’m just going to keep you up to speed on the goings-on today around the country as we head to the polls to cast our vote in the midterm elections.

1.  Right-Wing vote-suppression efforts: In Kansas, the Right is up to their old tricks, trying to keep registered voters from voting (because the more people vote, the better Democrats will fare).  Voters were blasted with robocalls over the weekend reminding voters to bring their proof of home ownership and voter registration card with them to the polls when they open…on Wednesday, November 3.  Bastards.  Again, when you have no shame, its easy to feel okay about winning this way…

2.  Turnout is HUGE! Despite all the talk about only the Tea Party being fired up, its a big voting day around the country.  This is good news for Democrats:  registered voters prefer the Dems, while “likely voters” polled prior to Election Day OVERWHELMINGLY prefer republicans.  Its the enthusiasm gap that is THE KEY to control of congress.  So many races are “toss-up”, that a few percentage points in the other directions will turn predictions on their head.  LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN!

3.  Republican Hypocrisy Center-Stage: Senator John McCain (r-AZ) attacked Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), in a fight for his political life against lunatic fringe Tea-Bagger Sharron-Angle, for living in a penthouse suite at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, DC…forgetting to mention, of his own 8-home real estate empire.

Stay Tuned for more updates…its a big day.  DON’T FORGET TO VOTE!!!

UPDATE:  Oyyyy…I’m watching MSNBC…Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal just said “Obama’s never lost anything significant in his entire life, so it will be interesting to see…”  Everyone nodded their agreement and started to speculate on Obama’s reaction to what happens tonight.  Of course, Peggy Noonan is spectacularly and dishearteningly incorrect, considering BOTH of Obama’s parents died tragically young:  his mother of cancer at age 52, his father in a car crash at age 48.  Yeahhhh…never lost anything significant in his entire life…and why the F__K is this a story topic?  How about unbelievably vast, undisclosed corporate spending on republican campaigns?  (Way to go, Supreme Court!!!)  Seems slightly more important than the president’s personal reaction to midterm election losses, but thats just me…

Justice is served…with pepperoni

Ha!

Remember this guy?  Quite possibly the most infamous lobbyist of our time, Abramoff was THE face of political corruption during the Bush administration, bringing down (or at least ending the careers of) such recalcitrant republican scumbags Bob Ney (r-OH, bribery), Tom DeLay (r-Dancing with the Stars), Conrad Burns (r-MT, lost seat), John Do0little (r-CA, lost seat), former Turdblossom Aide Susan Ralston (resigned), former Bush Interior Secretary Stephen Griles (obstruction of justice)…oh, its a long list.

Many would say Abramoff got off easy, copping a plea with prosecutors by pleading guilty to 3 felony counts and working with investigators to chip away at the vast republican corruption network.  Facing a maximum of 10 years, Abramoff squeaked out with a mere 4 in a minimum security prision.

Of course, the really big fish was too just too slippery.  George Bush, ever the picture of honesty, “didn’t really know” the man who personally raised more than $100,000 for Bush’s re-election bid, the man who charged lobbyists $25,000 a pop to meet the former president face-to-face, the man who stood with him holding a giant check…aww, never mind, just look…

Said Jack in 2008:  “I’ve fallen into an abyss.  My name is the butt of a joke, the source of a laugh and the title of a scandal. … I hope this horrible nightmare ends at some point.”

So did we.

But now its Abramoff’s turn to give the pizza industry a bad name.  Abramoff was transferred to a halfway house 2 weeks ago, about 6 months before the end of his sentence, and has found new employment at a Kosher Pizzeria in Baltimore.

Rumors that he is charging republican lawmakers $25,000 each for access to the kitchen in back are unconfirmed…to date.

Scrooge makes triumphant return to politics

Ahhhhhhhhh…the South…

Wow, why don’t I live there again?  OH, right…

You’ll recall it was just a few weeks ago that the good republican senator from Alabama, Richard “Dick” (see the pattern?) Shelby, who placed a blanket hold on about 70 presidential nominations so his favorite defense contractor could get a little more cash.  What’s that?  You’ve never heard of a “hold”?  Its apparently a very, non-controversial (unlike the “controversial” process of reconciliation, where a majority actually DOES rule) “parliamentary tactic” whereby a single senator can grind the entire government to a halt for any nonsensical reason, and anonymously if he so chooses (a “secret hold”).

So, Dick eventually relented on most of the holds, citing a job well done in bringing attention to his unrepetant corporate servitude national security issues.  BUT, not to be out done in sheer jerkwad-ness, Kentucky’s own Jim Bunning, yet another elderly white male republican senator, blocked a short term extension of unemployment benefits for more than 1 million out-of-work Americans.

And in a classic “let them eat cake” moment, complained, while senate Democrats repeatedly sought unanimous consent to a vote in the chamber:  “I have missed the Kentucky-South Carolina game that started at 9:00, and it’s the only redeeming chance we had to beat South Carolina since they’re the only team that has beat Kentucky this year.”

He eventually relented, but the damage was done – furloughed employees, stalled infrastructure projects…  The compromise was this:  the good senator was allowed to introduce an amendment to close a tax loophole for paper companies…the amendment was voted down.  Well done sir, well done.

That’s right, folks.  Forget majorities, forget SUPERmajorities…all it takes is one prick to hold everything up…EVERYTHING.

Are we going to be able to do this?  Are we going to be able to do anything?

Health Care Summit: long, pointless

Welllll…it came from the best intentions, but 7.5 hours later, it was just the same old thing:  republicans continued to cite cherry-picked, misleading statistics, robotically repeat that we start over from scratch, senselessly fixate on the brevity or lengthiness of whatever proposal (because neither really matters, its just another republican talking point)…

Okay, Mr. President, okay.  You tried.  Can we end the charade?

Pass something!  For God’s sake, pass something…

You know, I was pretty pissed over the whole “compromise” that finally led to the passage of the Senate Health Care Bill, which somehow has meant moving the whole thing drastically to the right – no public option, removal of end-of-life counseling provisions, hectic anti-abortion language – but NOTHING just can’t be an option…it just can’t be…

We need SOMETHING here.  We have to hang on.  We can’t be bullied by the republican minority, by the lunatics at the tea party protests, with their stupidity and their hate…and their weapons.

We have to move forward.

Massachusetts controls our destiny

Somehow, in this time of hope and change and vast Democratic “Super” (lame) majorities in Congress, our nation’s fate hangs in the balance over a single special election between former nude model turned lunatic fringe birther, Scott Brown, and somewhat uninspiring, foot-in-her-mouth Democratic candidate, Martha Oakley.

If we lose, its 59-41 in the Senate (which translates to republican rule, apparently), and we’ve replaced the progressive “Lion” of the Senate, Ted Kennedy (R.I.P.), with…a tea party activist. Since republicans do the party-unity dance about 1 million times better than the Democrats (see, for example, entire year of 2009), this means that a party line vote will NEVER pass anything…EVER!  And Republicans now use the mere threat of a filibuster as a starting point on EVERY SINGLE BILL that their counterparts come up with.  Never mind the “nuclear option” to potentially eliminate the filibuster threatened during republican majorities…oh no, thats not in the cards when the tables are turned…

Its been said many times, by greater thinkers and writers than I, and now our Vice President echoes the sentiment:  “This is the first time every single solitary decision has required 60 senators. No democracy has survived needing a supermajority.”

CHANGE THE FUCKING RULES!  I’ll take the consequences.  It just means that if the situation is reversed, I can’t complain…at least about the rules.  If republicans actually steamroll some of their favorite policies through congress, fine, its the people that will turn against them…because their ideas tend to suck.  But for god’s sake…LETS GET SOMETHING DONE, PEOPLE!

No one likes to suffer the tyranny of the majority…but the tyranny of the minority is killing the team.

Ahhhh…bipartisanship, “reaching across the aisle”, hugs and kisses for all, but when the OVERWHELMING goal of the minority party becomes less to influence the action of the majority through cooperation and amendments and debate, and solely to punish Barack Obama and America for electing him…PUSH THEM ASIDE!

I suppose it could be a lesson to our Democratic overlords…this is what happens when you cave early and often, when you try to play nice, when you seek the middle ground as a starting point…

I don’t want to say goodbye to health care reform, or climate change legislation, or all that is good and bright in this Obama-world…it doesn’t have to be this way.

POSTSCRIPT:  John Stewart really, really tells it like it is…

Dumb and Dumber – Idiots march on Washington…again

Everyone’s favorite mental patient/congresswoman, Michele Bachmann (r – MN), rallied her base to “fight the crown jewel of socialism” (you know, health care reform) at the steps of the nation’s capitol (where real congressmen and women are actually working).  Facing a crowd of literally…a few thousand people…she openly called for revolution against the forces of…errr…helping sick people.

The usual mob of angry, dumb white people were in attendance, with the usual hate, bigotry and stupidity on display.  Also in evidence was the latest republican/conservative strategy:  compare EVERYTHING Obama or Democrats try to do as “just like the Nazis”.  (You know, because Hitler was mostly known for his progressive health care reform policy.)  Seriously…signs like this are unforgivable.

She might be crazy, but she’s not a lone wolf.  Her rally against congress (where she supposedly works) was fully supported by congressional republicans…and, of course, promoted heavily by Fox News, continuing, presumably, in their fair and balanced coverage of political issues.  Many of our favorite republican dickwads were in attendance at this “press conference” (that’s right, they called it a “press conference”).  Here’s some great quotes:

• Minority Leader John Boehner (r – OH):  “This bill is the greatest threat to freedom that I’ve seen in the 19 years I’ve been here in Washington.”
• Ridiculous Wonder-Clown John Shadegg (r – AZ): “(Supporters of the health care bill) want to enslave you and take away your freedom.”
• Preposterous Jackass Paul Broun (r – GA):  “We are going to put a stop sign in front of (Nancy Pelosi’s) steam-roller of socialism…LET’S GET ‘EM!”

In just a small taste of karma, while this epic collection of knuckleheads basked in the glow of admiration from their small army of slack-jawed yokels, they somehow forgot to vote on some crucial, republican-sponsored Patriot Act amendments, all of which NARROWLY failed in their respective committees.  Oops.

Brilliant work, dummies.

Is it time to scrap this whole bipartisan idea yet?  WE DO NOT NEED THEM.

Republicans boldly defend America from progress

When he’s not busy insisting the sun revolves around a flat, 6,000 year old Earth, republican knucklehead Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma leads the crusade against global warming.  This moron is so anti-environment, so against everything good and sane, that sometimes he’s even too extreme for his party.

So next month, to protect us all from…whatever…he’s off on an anti-American (yeah, thats right, I said it) mission to Copenhagen to present “the truth” about global warming during the upcoming global climate summit.  Because what’s more American than a member of congress trashing the President on foreign soil?

You know why we got NOWHERE under the Bush Administration?  Why we have such travesties of environmental legislation as the “Clear Skies” initiative?  Its because this asshole was in charge of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee.

Well, now its our turn.

So, what do cry-babies do when they’re out of power?  Why, throw a temper tantrum, of course!  And now, Seargent Dork Senator Inhofe is leading (his sheep) a republican boycott of committee hearings on the Boxer-Kerry “cap-and-trade” bill to address carbon emissions.   Ahhh…republicans…

Who are these guys?  Do they have anything to offer?  ANYTHING AT ALL?

I’ll tell you, just as soon as little baby stops pouting…

[BREAKING NEWS:  VOINOVICH (r – OH)  IS LONE REPUBLICAN AT MARKUP HEARINGS]